Recently, redditor u/Ubemin asked, “Boys, what is something you didn’t know about girls until you got with one?” Now, listen, I don’t expect men to know everything about being a woman, but my jaw was on the floooooor when I read some of these things they had literally no idea about before they started dating women. Like, WHAT????
I’m gonna let the men speak for themselves here. Without further ado, here are 20 things men revealed that they didn’t know about women before being in a relationship with one:
1.“How expensive bras are. Growing up, I assumed they were like underwear: $7.99 for a four-pack at Target.”
“Oh, you can get bras (almost) that cheap, but then they are evil and try to eat you alive by chewing through both sides of your rib cage and your sternum at the same time, while also climbing up your back in an attempt to break your neck. Good bras also do these things, but much more slowly, increasing your chances of daily survival.”
2.“The amount of hair that’s just everywhere.”
“One time my toe was hurting, so I took off my shoe and sock and noticed that a strand of my girlfriend’s hair had wrapped itself TIGHTLY around my toe and had cut off the circulation.”
3.“That eyelash curlers exist. I grew up with sisters but never saw them use one. My girlfriend at the time pulled one out as we were looking to go out, and I was perplexed and horrified.”
4.“They share way more details with their friends than we do.”
“My best friend moved four states away and has three kids. I don’t even know his kids’ names. We’ll talk every once in a while for an hour-ish, and my wife will ask how his kids are. I’ll respond, ‘Oh, uh…they’re good.’ She’ll ask, ‘How do you know? You didn’t ask him.’
“‘He didn’t mention anything bad about them, so they must be good…’Blows her mind.”
5.“That cis women have a second hole that they pee from.”
“I learned that, surprisingly, late in life, and only because I asked a girl whether it’s inefficient that she needs to take out her tampon every time she goes to take a piss. She was a bit shocked.”
6.“When they tell you their problems, they don’t always want you to solve them — even if you think you have a quick and easy solution. Sometimes they just want you to listen and sympathize.”
“After about a year of unnecessary strife with my girl, I learned a trick that I will pass on now: When she tells me about her problems, I give her a big hug, look in her eyes, and say, ‘Aww, babe, I’m so sorry, that sucks. Do you just want love or do you want help?’ Ninety-five percent of the time, she just buries her head in my chest and says, ‘Just some love would be nice.’ Let me tell you something: GAME CHANGER!”
7.“That hair washing is something that needs planning for and has consequences if missed or overdone.”
“I was just telling my husband that I basically have to go through the five stages of grief before washing my hair.
* Denial: It’s not even that dirty.
* Anger: I just fucking washed it the day before yesterday!
* Bargaining: Maybe I can get away with dry shampoo until tomorrow?
* Depression: Now my hair smells like I Febrezed it and it still doesn’t look clean. I am gross and lazy.
* Acceptance: Fuck it, I guess I’ll just wash it.”
8.“I thought that the sticky side of menstrual pads had to stick to the body to stay attached, not to the underwear.”
9.“I didn’t know just how bad the unprompted sexts women get are. I mean, I’m a gay dude where that’s not uncommon either, but that’s usually, like, unsolicited dick pics on Grindr or something. My girlfriends will randomly get super-aggressive texts from, like, the Realtor who showed them open rental properties last year, or a guy in their lab class they’ve literally never spoken to. And, like, frequently.”
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10.“They shower in hell. I take my shower first and turn it up until it’s painful, and I yelp as I jump out of the way. And she’s like, ‘It’s kinda cold.'”
—u/Ineptios and u/the_crazy_cat_man
“My wife made me turn up our water heater temperature so she could make her showers hotter.”
11.“Before I was in a long-term relationship, I had no idea just how often women get public, unwanted attention from male strangers. I’m not around people who do that (that I know of), and it’s never occurred to me to do something like that, so anytime I heard about that kind of thing or saw it depicted in the media, I thought of it as an outlier or an old trope. Nope, it’s an everyday thing, and it’s kinda fucked up.”
12.“Their underwear is not universal. Certain kinds of underwear suit certain types of clothes.”
“On top of that, there are certain pairs of underwear for certain times of the month, as well as times of day and/or activities. There are so many kinds of underwear.”
13.“I didn’t know that birth control had so many (often prevalent) side effects.”
“I just stopped taking birth control because the progestin-only pill made me break out terribly, and the combo pill made me feel unhinged.”
“Oh god. I will never forget legit sobbing to my then-fiancé (now husband) that I felt like a stranger in my own body. He just said, ‘I don’t think getting to have sex without protection is worth it, babe.’ I went off birth control like a day later.”
14.“That doctors just do not listen to women about their own bodies. My girlfriend (and ex) have both had me go into doctor’s appointments with them so I could verify what they’re saying about their own bodies. It is mind-blowing to experience.”
“When I reported some back pain, I was given an immediate X-ray and a physio regimen to fix the issue.
“When my wife reported back pain, she was told she would be fine if she lost 20 pounds. For reference, I am more overweight than she is. She ended up in the emergency room for back spasms more than 10 times in a year. We followed up with the GP multiple times. No proper investigation, just an assumption that she had a weak back and needed to do more exercise, etc.
“Turns out, her pain was biliary colic — which has been reported by many as an experience even more painful than childbirth. The repeated spasms actually left her with permanent damage to the back muscles.
“It wasn’t until we went to a private specialist that he diagnosed and fixed the problem with surgery the next week. He gave us a huge rant about how most doctors absolutely ignore pain symptoms in women. He said it’s also why so many reproductive system issues are underdiagnosed — women report painful periods and such and are met with ‘Well, duh’ responses from their doctors rather than actual investigation.”
15.“That discharge is normal and natural. In the beginning, I thought my girlfriend had a problem with bladder control.”
“Don’t worry — the bladder control issues come after you have kids.”
16.“Their pockets are fake!!!!”
“The more I learn about women’s clothing, the more angry I get. Like, how are you going to have one fucking arbitrary number for the size of pants?! How fucking hard is it to do length and waist, like the standard for men?!”
17.“That a 5-foot-tall, 100-pound woman is capable of taking up an entire king-size bed.”
“Yep. My fiancé is 5 feet 2. We upgraded to a king-size bed, and she still takes up the whole bed. She likes to sleep in the middle of it, but also diagonally.”
18.“That endometriosis is a lot worse than whatever they describe in textbooks.”
“Endometriosis is a close second to the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. The pain is unmatched. I’ve heard other women say the pain from cramps is comparable to contractions. Oftentimes, the back pain and the cramps are so debilitating that I can’t get out of bed, and if I do, the only place I go to is the bathroom. One thing I don’t hear very many women talk about is the fact that endometriosis also causes very large blood clots. It’s so uncomfortable, and if you’re in a situation where there’s not a bathroom around…you have a giant blood clot right at the edge of your vaginal opening that’s just sitting there. Or, worse, it comes out, and now you’ve got a gigantic blood clot on your pad and blood all over the place. I’ve gone days without eating because of how bad it can get. There’s no accurate way to describe endometriosis with just words.”
19.“Those mini hair clip things that look like paper clips are not just a fashion accessory; they’re also a territorial marker. See how many you find around the house after your girl stays for a night or two.”
“As a girl, can I just say that we are facing the opposite end of the same problem? Why do they keep disappearing? Is this where they go?”
20.And finally: “That finding the clitoris is not — as I had been led to believe by pop culture jokes — an impossible adventure requiring endless amounts of cunning, fortitude, and a guide. Like, it’s literally right there. It’s impossible to not find. I have no idea what that joke is about.”
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.